Let your soul live in peace...

I have a friend, a pregnant mother, a very loving companion of mine. She is one of the most liveliest persons I have ever met! ما شاء الله  (Masha Allah)....A vibrant, emotionally strong, determined lady with a beautiful smile! A lady with an unwavering faith in her Deen..But certain hard situations have made her to feel low adding on to her prenatal emotional changes! I wish to bring back that cheerful  lady she had always been!Through this post I pray and hope to help her and others in her shoes, to elevate their despair... In sha Allah   

 Pregnancy: A very crucial and one of the most beautiful time-frames in a woman's life. It is a time when she weaves out precious dreams and aspirations for the new life in her. A time when she feels sick throughout, throwing up all day; unable to sleep or even turn around; aching backs and swelling legs! Despite these, she never complains and waits with patience and hopes to welcome her little one cheerfully...

But sometimes it so happens that even in this joyous period, the expecting mother may not be able to find herself in peace. Pessimistic thoughts and feelings of worthlessness may overwhelm her. Reasons maybe many.. certain circumstances can influence her moods adding on to the effects of the hormonal changes in her. Most of the time this gloom withers away but at times it persists and aggravates which then leads to what is called as antenatal depression.

The state of our mind has a lot to do with the development of the unborn. Serotonin, Endorphins, Oxytocin and Dopamine are the chemicals in the brain responsible for happiness and contentment.When the pregnant mother keeps herself happy, these happy chemicals from her blood are circulated into the blood stream of the fetus.The part of the brain which tunes and sets the type of our personality, sets up the baby's personality to be happy and cheerful. It improves the Emotional Quotient (E.Q) of the baby which inturn boosts the baby's Intelligence Quotient (I.Q). Now it must be obvious what would happen if  the expectant mommy remains depressed!

Our Deen is the most perfect in all regards and Alhamdulillah... Allah has prescribed the spiritual medications for the depressed soul. In the first place, we need to remind ourselves that Allah has not abandoned any individual unless he/she denies faith. None in this dunya escapes stress. No matter however rich or poor a person is ,he will have to face tough times. This world has been designed that way! Hence, one must realize that it's very normal to feel sad and to have griefs. There is nothing wrong about it. Infact, Allah tells us in  Surah Al Baqarah, 

  And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits but give good tidings to the patient

From history we have learnt the various tribulations and trials most of our prophets have faced. Prophet Yaaqub  عليه السّلام was tested by taking away from him, the apple of his eye; his beloved son Yusuf عليه السّلام . Yaqub عليه السّلام  had cried over him for years and his grief was so deep that he lost his eyesight. It was only after quite a long time was he returned his beloved son and his eyesight.

Ayoob عليه السّلام  was afflicted by a terrible illness. All his wealth,his health,his family; everything was taken away from him. After many years of forbearance was he granted cure from his illness and was blessed again with wealth and children.

As for Maryam عليهاالسلام, she had conceived without a man and she had secluded herself  from her people. Being alone and in labor, she was worried and she even said,

"Oh I wish I had died before this and was in oblivion, forgotten" 

                                                              -Surah Maryam

Allah neither criticized her for being worried nor did He suspect her imaan..

I say this because there are people who regard depression to be an illness as a result of weak iman which is not true.

Furthur, Allah comforted Maryam (a.s) by saying,

But He called her from below her,"Do not grieve. Your Lord has provided beneath you a stream."

                                                              -Surah Maryam

Our beloved Prophet Muhammed صل الله عليه وسلم, the noblest man on Earth, confronted the greatest of tribulations.Let's pick out one of these situations when he was the most saddened. There was a time period in his life,when he had no revelations at all. And the Rasulallah صل الله عليه وسلم had thought that he had done something to lose the divine love and that Allah had abandoned him.And this thought drove him to despair .This was the time when Allah revealed Surah Ad-Duha. This episode shows the significance of reciting this surah during the time of distress which we will discuss in another post, In sha Allah.. 

Hence it's obvious that meeting troubles in life and feeling stressed and anxious is an inevitable part of life. That is normal. But sometimes, shaythan plays his dirty tricks in our minds. His evil whispers tend to create more and more negative energy taking our depression to such an extent that we stop living a normal life and cut off our relation with Allah! Realizing that this isn't our fault and that shaythan is bringing this negativity in us can help us to fight against him.

The greatest of tribulations were faced by the prophets of Islam. Their lives are the best examples and important lessons we need to carve in our minds. Below are few points to be remembered in case you feel you are someone in depression:

1. Facing problems and feeling stressed and anxious are a part of being human.

    There is nothing to feel guilty about being extremely anguished or grieved because it's a part of life and it's normal unless it exceeds the healthy bounds.

2. Know that Allah is watching us and that He is with us.

During the time of the Prophet Muhammed's صل الله عليه وسلم  Hijrah, he and his companion Abu Bakr As Siddiq رضي الله عنه had to hide at a cave of Jabal Thawr from their enemy, the Quraishis. When the Quraishis finally reached the cave, Abu Bakr رضي الله عنه panicked because he thought there was no way out now. But Rasulullah صل الله عليه وسلم consoled him with these prominent words. A Hadith narrates this as follows,

I said to the Prophet صل الله عليه وسلم   while I was in the cave, "If any of them should look under his feet,he would see us." He said,"O Abu Bakr! What do you think of two (persons) the third of whom is Allah?"    

 

                                                    (Sahih Al Bukhari)

And Allah speaks of this chapter in Surah at Tawbah (verse no. 40)

If you do not aid the Prophet- Allah has already aided him when those who disbelieved had driven him out (of Makkah) as one of two, when they were in the cave and said to his companion,"Do not grieve, Indeed Allah is with us." And Allah sent down his tranquility upon him and supported him with angels you did not see and made the word of those who disbelieved the lowest, while the word of Allah- that is the highest. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise. 

Faith helps in overcoming depression. Every now and then, whether you know it or not Allah knows what's happening with us. He alone understands our problems and He alone will provide solutions. Reassure yourselves that Allah is with you. He will surely guide you. In sha Allah.

3. Remember the times when Allah bestowed His mercy upon you. 

When you feel that Allah doesn't like you and that He has abandoned you, think of all those blessings Allah has bestowed upon you. Think of those moments in the past when Allah helped you out of hard situations; maybe out of financial problems or a recovery from illness. Or just count the blessings of the very basic things in life; abilities to see, hear, smell and taste; what if you were deprived of any one of these?

Think of how much more worser your problem could have been. Say Alhamdulillah... it's not worser than it is now!

4. Be grateful for His blessings.

Allah says in Surah Ibrahim,

And remember when your lord proclaimed,"If you are grateful, I will surely increase you (in favour); but if you deny, indeed, my punishment is severe."

When you feel despaired, and feel sad about what you didn't achieve; if you feel you aren't deserving and feel hopeless about Allah's love, think about what you have;count on the blessings you have. You haven't earned them. That was His mercy! If you remain patient during distress and thank Allah for all that He gave you, In sha Allah ,He will increase you in blessings. If you are ungrateful and keep complaining then Allah will give you more to complain! Be grateful to Allah for all that you have and also for all that you don't have because you never know, maybe Allah saved you from the dangers residing in all that you don't have!

5. Believe in the decree of Allah.

Our life has all been predestined. Any affair of this world happens by Qadr |(decree of Allah). Whatever is bothering you about your past has happened by the decree of Allah and it can never change. Hence, belief in Qadr can help you to console yourselves so that you don't get worried about what you didn't get.

6. In some cases, depression is from shaythan.

Shaythan tricks us to think that we have no faith and  Allah does not love us. He slowly increases this thought to such an extent that even committing a single sin would  make us detatch ourselves completely from Allah. 

7. Open up with Allah.

One of the most important lessons that reflect from the stories above is Dua. If there is something in this world that can change Qadr is Dua. The obligatory prayers on time, Zikr of Allah ,sending salawats upon Prophet Muhammed صل الله عليه وسلم and sincere Dua to Allah only will help us to relieve and bring our hearts to immense content. Our souls need to be fed for its sustenance just as we feed our physical body. When the soul is not fed it puts a panic over the body which is what we feel as anxiousness and depression. The nourishment of the soul is through chanting and praising the divinely presence (Zikr of Allah).The sound produced from chanting induces an optimistic spark within the soul. Only these can help us to remove all the negative energy and brew a positive energy within us! 

8. Realize the future is always for the believer.

Whether your museeba (trouble) gets removed or not in this Dunya , it will surely be removed in future..in Akhirah  (the Eternal life)!  Dua will help you to remain patient and remain expectant of the future..

9. Difficulties are always followed by ease.

The Sahabas were frightened when things went well because they say that when things go well it is always followed by hardship.And when things go difficult, it is always followed by ease. So, they preferred to wait for ease than wait for hardship.

Ibn Rajab رحمة الله عليه  in his book Majmoo' Rasaa'il Ibn Rajab says,

"Waiting for relief (from hardship) is worship, for verily the trials don't last forever."

10. Patience is Ibadah.

The period of waiting patiently for release of suffering is an act of worship.

                                                                                                                                                                                       -Imam Al-Ghazali رضي الله عنه 

All those tribulations in life are the tests from Allah and Allah tests those whom He loves. Allah loves optimism. A Muslim must remember this and take heed to remain patient during his hard times because patience is Ibadah. Your patience is the sign of your Iman. Allah gives a logic behind this patience. Ibn Abbas رضي الله عنه says there are three blessings in every tribulation:

• Your problem could have been worser.
• The tribulation is in your worldly matters and not in your Deen.
• As long as the tribulation is in this world it is a blessing.

Those who say Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raajioon when distress falls upon are the ones upon whom Allah's mercy descends.

11. Look for a good deed.

Even a forced smile can make you feel better. When you are in despair and you feel there is no way out, look out for something by which you can bring happiness to others. Believe me.. when you find someone else being happy because of you, your soul will attain immense content and this is true! 

A hadith as reported by Abu Hurairahرضي الله عنه,

A man came to the Messenger of Allah صل الله عليه وسلم and he complained about the hardness of his heart. The Prophet said,"If you want to soften your heart, feed the poor and pat the head of an orphan."

                                                                                    - Musnad Ahmed 

This means to say that being kind to an orphan and the needy; you may not be able to sponsor them but atleast a warm pat can soften a hard heart. Indulge yourselves in serving others and Allah will bless you with the peace of your soul..

To conclude, let me quote Helen Keller's words,

"The world is filled with sufferings but it is also filled with the overcoming of the sufferings."